Key Verses: 38:4, 8-9
“My wrongdoings are stacked higher than my head; they are a weight that’s way too heavy for me. I’m worn out, completely crushed; I groan because of my miserable heart. Everything I long for is laid out before you, my Lord; my sighs aren’t hidden from you.” CEB
None of us like to admit when we are wrong. When we knowing or unknowingly work to do harm against another; when we intentionally or even unintentionally participate in activities and systems which are at their core set up to put some on the winning end of things and other on the losing. Some of us walk through this world as the beneficiaries of these systems and unwilling, unwitting participants in the harm those systems do to others. When I begin to think of all the ways the very way I go about my life can and often does do harm to others, I am over whelmed. I understand the overwhelming crushing feeling the Psalmist has when faced with his own sins, his own wrong doings. It is too much for me, the weight is too heavy! It is all too much!
I am a good person. My longings my desires are for God. I call out to God and seek to do the good of the Lord in all my days, with all my ways. And it is hard to face my failings. What can I do in the face of systemic racism. I myself work to do no harm to others. But it is not enough. It is too heavy for me! I need God to not leave me alone with the weight of it all. I need God to be here with me, to not be far from me. I want to be better. It is only when God is my salvation, when God is my redemption that I am able to face it. It is only through the power of God and God alone, that I can move through this, move past it all, make headway and make a change for righteousness and justice.
A Prayer for Today
Lord, God I am a person of unclean lips and unclean actions, among a people of unclean lips and unclean actions. I fail to be the person you call me to be. I do not wish to do harm. Help me when I do, unwittingly, unknowingly and in my ignorance. Teach me. Do not allow me to continue to be unknowing and do not allow my actions to unwittingly do harm. It is my desire to serve you, to be the person you have call me to be. You call me to justice and righteousness. Show me how I can work for your justice and live your righteousness in my life. Bring your salvation to my life, bring your redemption to all the places I go and to all the things I do. – Amen