I am facinated by the image of Judas walking into the night with a piece of the bread of the Eurcarist in hand. The gospel of John does not include the institution of the Eucharist, as the synoptics do, but thoughts of the communion could not have been far from the minds of the gospel's first readers. The Johanine community would have known the traditions which included the Last Supper as the institution of communion. Judas can not be walking out with anything other than the bread which Jesus broke, saying, "This is my body, broken for you."
Judas, walks into the night, the betrayer holding (essentially) a peice of the betrayed. Taking Christ with him even as he is about to well Christ out for a handful of silver. A little bit of grace, a little bit of Christ goes with him, even as he moves to work against Christ.
Even there in the dark Judas has a piece of redemption with him. When we gather around the table, when we partake of the bread of Communion, we carry Christ with us where ever we go from there. No matter where we go, no matter how dark the night, no matter what it is we are moving to do, Christ goes with us. Even when we fail, even when our actions move against Christ, we take him with us. Christ our redemption goes with us when we are at our best AND when we are at our worst. Even when we fall short of being the images of Christ we are called to be Christ our redemption is with us, right there.
We can't really speculate what could have happened or what would have happened but when we like Judas move into the darkness and the dark places that our own sinfullness can take us, we should remember that Christ is with us. We can remember that in our hand, inside of us is a little peice of Christ waiting to forgive us, waiting to redeem us, calling to us to remind us that we can never go too far, that Christ is not there with us. We are never so far gone. Christ our redemption is always in hand. Even if we have betrayed the very one who is our salvation, we the betrayers can turn to the betrayed and know that we an seek forgiveness, that there is redemption and never condemnation there. If only Judas has realized what it was he had in his hand.