It has been 15 days since I wrote a Manna. I have sat before the Psalm, asking God to speak to me. Begging God to give me something, anything to say. I have stepped away from it for a few days only to come back and stare once again. In many ways during these last 15 days, I have written my own Psalms to the Lord.
I am dry, O Lord. I am tired, O Lord. Give me rest, be my rest. Restore me. Do not hide your face from me. Do not be so far from me. These months I have spent in the Psalms have given me a language with which to pray. I can see myself in need of shelter, in need of a refreshing stream. I can cry with the Psalmist who feels alone and abandoned by the God I love and trust. I know what it means to know God is there but not feel that God is there.
The Psalmist is my comrade. I have journeyed with the Psalms up to this point and now the Psalms are journeying with me. I am not alone. The Psalms are with me and the Psalmist assures me God is with me, even when I can not see God, even when I can not hear God, even when I can not feel God. In these days of wandering, searching, crying out to God. I know I am not abandoned. Because over and over again the Psalmist has reminded me God is there, God is on our side, God has not abandoned me.
If there is anything the Psalms have taught me as I have journeyed with them, is that when I look around and feel I am alone, think that I am abandoned, find I need shelter in the storm, or a guide to find my way out of the wilderness, there is nothing wrong with me. I am not alone in my struggle, the Psalms are with me. They give words to my struggle, give me comfort in my aching and continually remind me that not only are they here with me, but that even now God is with me; in it all through it all.
In the dessert I can give praise to God for the oasis. When I am surrounded by enemies on all sides I can rejoice in my rescue. When I feel alone and abandoned by God, I can sing of how God is near. When I am lost in the storm I can thank God for my shelter. God is my shelter, my closest friend, my savior, my oasis in a dry and deserted place.
I will wait upon the Lord. I will not run forward and try to get ahead of God. I will wait. I will sing praises. I will write a new song. I will rest, knowing God is here with me. I am not alone. I am not abandoned. God is with me. I give thanks to the Psalms which have reminded me of this over and over and over again. I have journeyed with the Psalms, for now I will let the Psalms journey with me.
Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment