Luke 11:53-12:12

What I am hearing in this passage.

Do not be afraid of what is said or done behind your back.  People may say things in the dark of the night, they may do things in secret, and we can spend our lives afraid of others and what they may be doing, whether it affects us or not.  I can spend my life afraid of what people say about me when I am not around.  Do they like me?  Do they approve of me?  Are they paying attention to me? All questions which can consume my life.  I can worry about these things, but they are beyond my control.  There is really nothing I can do.  People will say what they will say.  They will do what they will do.   Their deeds, their words will be brought light.  Fretting and worrying about it will not change anything.

The same goes for me.  The deeds I do secretly, covertly, the words I say will all come to light.  Who I am in secret, will be known.  I cannot hide in the dark.  The person I am in the dark should always be the same person I am in the light.  The words I am willing to say in secret must be words I am willing to have been said in public.  There can be no duality of person, no bi-furcation of character.  I am a woman of God at all times, my words, my actions, where ever I am,  at all times reflects the truth of this.

-Kaza

New Beginnings

So here is the deal.  I am busy.  I am a pastor and I am a Barista at a local Starbucks, a wife and a mother to two beautiful girls.  And most of the time I feel that I am too busy to spend time, outside of my weekly sermon prep, in the scriptures.  I try and I struggle with simply finding the time.  The other day I told someone else (a parishioner) it is not like you need to find a whole hour, just find 10 minutes.  You can do it.  And I said earnestly believing it, but also knowing, far too intimately, the struggle this person is experiencing. And this time, I listened to myself and thought about 10 minutes. During a shift at Starbucks, I get one ten minute break every 2 hours I work.  I usually get one or two breaks a day.  So that adds up to 10 to 20 mins every day.  So my commitment is to spend those 10 to 20 mins reading scripture and typing my thoughts and what I am learning.  Why in a blog you ask?  Accountability.  Even if nobody reads this, it is out there, where someone might read it where someone might notice, and for some reason that matters.  For some reason, it does.  So I am going to do this.  Starting TODAY.  I will read at least one of the daily lections from the BCP for my devotions every day, during my 10 min breaks and write, my thoughts, my prayers, what I feel God saying to me through scripture, here in this blog.

Matthew 23:1-12

Ok so, wow.  This is kind of humbling.   On one hand it would be easy to read this passage and say, those Pharisees, better beware.  But here I am writing my scripture reading here in a blog for all to see.  Am I a teacher, a scribe, a Pharisee, showing off for those around me . . . for the world to see?  Look how spiritual I am, I am doing my devotions.  I am reading scripture.  I am seeking God.  Looky here, see me do it.  

I guess as I begin this new journey, that I should start it right.  I need to constantly remember that I am doing this for its own sake, not for to be seen (yes bad grammar and all), for the pat on the back, for the acknowledgement.  I can hope that whatever may come, that I will do this because it is right, because it is good, because it will draw me closer to God.  Let us hope that my coming here each day is answering the entreaty I am continually hearing from God.  Come spend time with me, come talk to me.  Let this time be my continual answer to the beckoning of God.

- Kaza