Jacob
is on his way home. He has come a long way since he traveled this way so many
years ago. When he came to Laban he had nothing with him. But since then he has
been working for Laban and made a deal where Laban agreed to give him the least
desirable sheep and goats among his herds. Slowly sheep by sheep, goat by goat,
he has built up a veritable fortune in livestock. So much so, that Laban began
to resent the prosperity Jacob was experiencing. It was only after tensions
began to rise between Laban and himself that the Lord instructed Jacob it was
time for him to return to his homeland.
So
it is at the Lord’s prompting that Jacob, along with, his two wives, the two
maids, their 11 children, all his flocks and herds and all those who work for
him are a traveling caravan making their way “home”. As they are traveling, Jacob sent some of his
men ahead of him with generous gifts to give to Esau. In an attempt to assuage Esua’s
long smoldering fury. They returned telling Jacob that Esau and all of his men
were on their way to meet him. And it is as the dust is rising on the horizon,
foretelling the coming of Esau and his company, that Jacob sends all which belongs
him across the stream and waits alone as the night falls, with as much distance
between him and brother as possible.
It
is there in the dark that a man comes and wrestles with Jacob. Who Jacob spends
the night wrestling with is uncertain. The text tells us that it is a man.
Jacob names the place “Face of God,” saying, “I have seen God face to face. Was
it a man? Was it a specific man, Esau? Was it himself with whom he ultimately
struggled? Was it God? Various scholars, theologians, and preachers down
through the centuries have proposed each of these and all of them have good
reasons to believe they are correct.
While
with whom Jacob wrestles is uncertain, we do know this, in the morning Jacob
limps away with a new name. He wrestles all night with whomever, or whatever it
is he wrestles. But before the dawn broke Jacob’s hip joint is pulled out of
socket, but Jacob does not relent. So man asks Jacob to release him because the
day is dawning. Jacob, even with his hip all out of joint, refused and requires
to be blessed before he will relent. The man asks for Jacob’s name, so Jacob
tells him. And the man renames Jacob, Israel, which means either/both “Strives
with God” and “God strives.” We are told this is because Jacob has striven with
both God and humans.
What
better describes Jacob’s life until this point? He has striven with humans. His
home life growing up was marked by the struggle he had with his brother, Esau.
He fled because in his striving he over reached gaining everything he ever wanted
which just so happened to be everything which rightfully belonged to Esau. He
then worked for Laban twice as long as he should have, striving with the sweat
of his brow to create the family he now has. Then he worked to make to gain all
that he now has, out of nothing, taking the left over sheep and goats and
making from them a veritable fortune. He left Laban, as tensions were rising
and Laban chased him down and they fought before Laban sent him on his way with
a blessing. Now it appears there is a great number of men, on the horizon, who wish
to be striven against as well.
But
not only has Jacob striven with humans but he has striven with God. He has gone
with God ever since that fateful night as he was making this way before, when
God met him at the foot of a stairway to Heaven inviting Jacob to “Go with God”.
Ever since that night Jacob has been striving with God, striving to be the
person God is leading him to be. This is seen in the honesty with which he
deals with Laban even as Laban deals dishonestly with him. This is seen as he
no longer over reaches in his striving to make is own way and only takes what Laban
gives to him and is able to build himself out of nearly nothing. It is because he
is going with God that he is able to hear the voice of God and it is because he
is striving together with God that he listens to the words of God and is now
traveling back home. It is because he is striving with God that he now finds
himself on the edge of the wilderness with his family and all that belongs to him
as a buffer between himself the force that is his brother and his fighting men.
Jacob is indeed Israel, one who strives with both God and man.
So
with whom or what does Jacob struggle, over the course of the long dark of the night?
Why is the Bible not more clear? (pause) In the end does it really need to be? Jacob
could have been struggling with a real man, with Esau his brother whom he
wronged and who had every reason to ambush him in the darkness of the night. Esau
come surprising him in the darkness of the night in hope of overpowering him
and ending this himself.
If it was truly Esau with whom Jacob wrestled,
Jacob must not fully realize with whom he is wrestling. When there is no clear
winner come morning, Jacob demands a blessing of this “stranger”. Think what it means! Esau renames Jacob,
striping of his identity as a heel grasping, dishonest trickster as, re-clothing
him with a new identity as one who has striven and is striving with both God
and humans. In this way we see the balm of forgiveness begin to break open in
their relationship. (Spoiler alert in the morning, when Jacob places himself
between his family and Esau, ready to face him head on, Esau runs up and
instead skewering Jacob on his sword he wraps his arm around Jacob and clinging
to his neck and cries forgiving him of all wrong doing)
Jacob
could have been struggling with himself, his past, with the man he used to be,
with the man he is becoming. He can be struggling with the consequences of all
his past misdeeds. Struggling to come to terms with himself, who the horrible
person he used to be, and struggling with the unworthiness he now feels as he
is about to face his brother knowing full well Esau has every right to kill him
and has most likely been desiring to do so all these decades. In renaming himself,
he is retaking his past, disallowing it to no longer define him. His identity
is no longer found in who he once was, as trickster and a cheat, he is now one
who has strived and will continue to strive with and alongside both humans and
God. He is a man who will allow God to rewrite his future even as God is
re-writing his past.
And
he indeed could be struggling with God, as he realizes the path down with God
is taking him leads him directly into the path of his vengeful brother. Struggling
with doing what God is calling him to do and what he would instead like to do,
which is grab his family and run far-far away. He has everything he needs, he
does not need what Esau has. Why confront his brother? Avoiding him has worked
well up ‘til now, why not keep that up? And in the morning when the struggle is
over he has not run away, he has continued to strive with God and continue to
choose to strive alongside God and with others. God renames him, removing his
torrid past and giving him a new, sanctified and holy future.
He
could truly have been wrestling with any of these. And perhaps the text stays
silent because we are to see ourselves in Jacob as he struggles. As we read
this we are able to read ourselves into this passage. As Jacob’s struggle is shrouded in the
darkness of the night and ambiguity of text we are able to envision our own
wrestlings, our own struggles going on, often unseen, and sometimes
misunderstood by others. In our own darkness, in the deep of our own nights, we
struggle, we wrestle . . . with so many things.
Perhaps
we wrestle with Esau this morning. During this long night, we struggle in our
relationships with others. We have spoken words we should not have, done things
which should never have been done. We have hurt our friends, our family. The
relationships with those we hold most dear are strained and broken. We have
hurt them. We have failed to live in loving kindness, we are in the wrong and
we know it. We don’t know what to do to fix things, but we struggle, we wrestle
none-the-less. We need allow ourselves to be renamed so we can forgive and be
forgiven.
In
the darkness of the night, we are ambushed by our past, by the person we once
were. We are fighting with a shadowy remembered version of ourselves. We have grown,
we have changed. We have gone with God, and have long since left that person
behind, but she haunts us in the darkness. Comes back to us, reminding us we
are unworthy of forgiveness. Reminding us, the mess we are in is our own doing.
If we had not been who we were back then, we would not be where we are now, for
better or for worse. And it is in the darkness when remind ourselves of all the
ways who we have been has brought us nothing but hardship and the battle on the
horizon is our own doing, it is nothing less than what we deserve. We beat
ourselves up, we maim ourselves, refusing to let go, refusing to allow ourselves
to move on, and punishing ourselves for that which can never be undone. Perhaps it is time to rename ourselves, to lay
claim to the holy transformation God had wrought in our lives. God knows we are
not who we once were, we need to rename our lives so that we too can see who we
have become.
Perhaps
it is really God with whom we are wrestling. We have chosen to go with God. We
have allowed God to change us, to shape us and form us, so that we are no
longer the person we once were, we are new, we are remade, we are striving with
God. Yet we wrestle with what we hear the voice of God saying to us. God is
calling us into something difficult. God is calling us to make right past
wrongs. God is sending us back to mend broken relations; to make right what we ourselves
made wrong. With God, we have come so far, but now we it is time to go back to
confront our past, who we once were and those whom we hurt.
We
wrestle with God’s call on our lives. God is continuing to shape and change us.
This is not easy work, this striving with God. Going with God takes us places
we have never been, it takes us back to places we do not wish to return and it
leads us into unknown territory where the dangers seem great and uncertainty
abounds. We struggle, we wrestle with God. And God is unrelenting. Even when we
cry uncle God continues on and even when we “win” (as if there is a winner or
loser in this) we come out on the other side forever changed, limping but
transformed, renamed and given a fresh start, a reinterpretation of our past, a
new future, a way forward.
Whether
we strive with God or with humans this morning, the struggle is real. The pain
is real. We are battle bruised and often walk away limping. But our struggle,
our wrestling is not in vain. When we go with God; when we strive with God; the
battle is God’s; the outcome is forgiveness, the result is restoration. With
God our past is reinterpreted, transformed, redeemed.
God
can redeem Jacobs’s story, Jacob’s actions, Jacob’s past and God can truly
redeem all that is within us, our past and our lives. We are able to face our
broken relationships with the assurance of knowing it is God who is calling us
to do the hard work of restoration. Even when we struggle with God and the work
God is doing in our lives, God is there with us. Renaming us, showing where to
go, how to get there and opening up what lies ahead, shining a new light on it
(as the dawn brings new light), giving us the courage and the fortitude to face
the future going with God, alongside of God, into whatever lies ahead.
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